Oh Hallmark, how I love you so…
You pull at my heartstrings.
You show me relationships that get connected then torn down for one commercial break, then rejuvenated in the last 8 minutes of the movie.
You pick the most beautiful towns and neighborhoods in the US that I know I will never be able to afford to live in.
You have characters that have the dream jobs everyone would kill to have.
Most of all, you make me believe in the fairytale ending.
How do we get there though? How can I make my before the commercial break, last 8-minute fairy tale wrap up happen? Sadly, I’ve realized in life, I can’t make it happen. I’ve tried and let’s just say it didn’t work out. I have pushed guys, and myself so hard to fit into this mold of expectations so I can have my Hallmark movie. Of course, I want a companion that’s going to lead me to Christ and a person that will be my best friend. Yet, my girl brain is screaming at me, dying for my very own Hallmark story.
In order for me to get my happy ending, I realized I had to give up on my plans, my agenda, and my guy choices because ultimately I need to give it to God. He’s way better at picking and writing my story than I am. Why would I even want to take control of the reigns anyway? I’d just screw it up because I am not capable of what God sees in our lives. He sees everything from every angle and angles we don’t even see. So, I’m obviously not the best harvester of the man crop, so I’m finally letting God lead this department up. I mean, if my “person” is one in a million, the Lord that knows the number of hairs on my head should be the one running this show. Deep down though, I still wonder how my Hallmark spark is going to happen.
When I see other couples out there that are engaged, happily married, etc… I see that Hallmark spark. From the little time I’ve had on earth to learn about relationships, I think I’ve somewhat figured out what I think is the spark. The Hallmark Spark to me is the glimmer in the eye. It’s those butterflies that you can’t calm down. You feel like you’re in your own movie when that person is near you or you just think of them. You have moments together where time stands still. You miss them when you’re separated. Sometimes you lose your breath when you’re together. You can get lost in the moment, and it’s the smile that just won’t go away. Everyone around can see the chemistry. You’re head over heels. Eventually, when the spark grows into a continuous flame, you can’t imagine your life without them. That’s the Hallmark spark to me. I feel like these different aspects of the spark happen at different points in time in a relationship. They are on different levels depending on the journey of the relationship.
The real question is, how does this happen for a single girl like me? I’ve had this thought wandering over my head for the past couple of weeks, and I think I finally got my answer Sunday night. It’s going to happen with the right person. That sounds SO cheesy and SO obvious, but that’s never truly sunk in. I have wanted this feeling for so long that I never have just let it happen. I’ve always wanted it so badly that I forced the feeling which ultimately led me to not fully surrendering that part of my life to the Creator of marriage, relationships, dating, etc… Now that I’m finally content with being single I’ve just let the Spirit guide my feelings and guard my heart.
Y’all… let me tell ya… when you finally let go and let God it is SO FREEING. It’s easy!! Sometimes the patience part isn’t easy, but man is it good in the end. All you do is just pray about it. Ask the Father that you want that closet door that’s shut to be open to Him. Now that I’ve given this part of my life to let God take control of it, the Spirit has been leading my feelings and my decisions. This has been the most fun time I have had in talking with someone because I know God put it together. It wasn’t fate. It was God forming, molding, and placing at HIS perfect timing. Not mine. Since I’m not in the driver’s seat on this road all I have to do is sit back and let God do what He wants. I’m kind of kicking myself in the face because I’m thinking, why didn’t I do this sooner?!?
Yes, call it cheesy, call it being too hopeful, but I believe in the Hallmark Spark. When it is real and true, it’s because of God’s timing. So, ladies and gents, no matter how much you want to be in control, let God do the work. Let him write your story because I think I’m feeling a spark of my own now, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m grateful Jesus is leading me and not the other way around.
“You can’t plan everything. Sometimes the best things in life are things we weren’t expecting.” – A Veteran Christmas (Hallmark Movies)